I’m over it. They lost. I accept it (sort of). I don’t get it, but I’m over it. As the headline in today’s Seattle Times promotes, “it’s time to move on.” Until next season #nextyear #what’snext? #whyinthehelldidhethrowthat?
It is time for me to move on as well, and truly focus on recovery. I am back to work, I have taken on a very small moderator role with the Chordoma in Canada group, and I’m getting stronger each day. I am writing some online content for a few companies, working at building a writing practice (if you know a business that could benefit from regular written content, a newsletter, blog or article, I would be happy to talk to them!), getting back to yoga and walking as much as possible.
Sleep and pain management remain my biggest challenges. I am not sure why sleep is so difficult, but I am working on it. I think that meditation will help, and I am starting a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course through the BC Cancer agency next week. I need to incorporate this into my life. Less googling “why didn’t he give the ball to Lynch?” and more time in quiet reflection.
With recovery comes monitoring, and for me that starts next week. I’m booked for a CT scan on the 18th, here at Kelowna General Hospital. I have heard and read much about “scanxiety” but I don’t feel worried. I am quite confident that I am cancer free, that the chordoma is gone, and I am looking for confirmation of that from this scan. My focus is very much on getting better, not on worrying about cancer that I don’t think is present.
After the scan we are going to a hockey game to celebrate Stella’s birthday. The Kelowna Rockets are leading the WHL and are far out front in their conference; however I haven’t really been following them this season. Their coach, Ryan Huska, moved to Glens Falls, New York last summer to coach the Adirondack Flames of the American Hockey League, selling me his car when he left. I have yet to insure it (hopefully I will feel confident enough driving to do this next week) but I feel like if his car is in my driveway I should follow his team (he is an excellent coach, I will follow him even after I total the car, which, if it follows my pattern thus far should be in about two more seasons.) I will be closely watching the results of his games this weekend against the Utica Comets who the Flames are chasing for leadership of their division. I just learned last week that the Ryan and the team are being moved to Stockton, California. This is great! Being in the same time zone will make it much easier for our daughters to keep in touch.
I have been thinking a lot this week about the outstanding care I received at both the SCCA Proton Therapy Center and at UW Medical Center. Between the Seahawks, some communication with a gentlemen from Edmonton who has been diagnosed with chordoma and is looking at going to SCCA, and a book I’m reading in which Seattle in the 40’s and 80’s figures prominently (Jamie Ford’s Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet), Seattle has been much on my mind. I feel so strongly that the treatment I received there was restorative and healing. I miss the people and the city.
While I have fond memories of the Emerald City, I am in the RIGHT place for this part of my journey. I am home and I am getting healthy. Seattle was about ridding my body of cancer, now it is time to move on. As Pete Carroll says, “One moment does not define you; the journey does.”