It’s time to move on

I'm sure it was the right call, but Paolo would have gone with Marshawn Lynch.

I’m sure it was the right call, but Paolo would have gone with Marshawn Lynch.

I’m over it.  They lost.  I accept it (sort of).  I don’t get it, but I’m over it.  As the headline in today’s Seattle Times promotes, “it’s time to move on.”  Until next season  #nextyear #what’snext? #whyinthehelldidhethrowthat?

It is time for me to move on as well, and truly focus on recovery.  I am back to work, I have taken on a very small moderator role with the Chordoma in Canada group, and I’m getting stronger each day.  I am writing some online content for a few companies, working at building a writing practice (if you know a business that could benefit from regular written content, a newsletter, blog or article, I would be happy to talk to them!), getting back to yoga and walking as much as possible.

Sleep and pain management remain my biggest challenges.  I am not sure why sleep is so difficult, but I am working on it.  I think that meditation will help, and I am starting a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course through the BC Cancer agency next week.  I need to incorporate this into my life.  Less googling “why didn’t he give the ball to Lynch?” and more time in quiet reflection.

With recovery comes monitoring, and for me that starts next week.  I’m booked for a CT scan on the 18th, here at Kelowna General Hospital.  I have heard and read much about “scanxiety” but I don’t feel worried.  I am quite confident that I am cancer free, that the chordoma is gone, and I am looking for confirmation of that from this scan.  My focus is very much on getting better, not on worrying about cancer that I don’t think is present.

After the scan we are going to a hockey game to celebrate Stella’s birthday.  The Kelowna Rockets are leading the WHL and are far out front in their conference; however I haven’t really been following them this season.  Their coach, Ryan Huska, moved to Glens Falls, New York last summer to coach the Adirondack Flames of the American Hockey League, selling me his car when he left.  I have yet to insure it (hopefully I will feel confident enough driving to do this next week) but I feel like if his car is in my driveway I should follow his team (he is an excellent coach, I will follow him even after I total the car, which, if it follows my pattern thus far should be in about two more seasons.)  I will be closely watching the results of his games this weekend against the Utica Comets who the Flames are chasing for leadership of their division.  I just learned last week that the Ryan and the team are being moved to Stockton, California.  This is great!  Being in the same time zone will make it much easier for our daughters to keep in touch.

I have been thinking a lot this week about the outstanding care I received at both the SCCA Proton Therapy Center and at UW Medical Center.  Between the Seahawks, some communication with a gentlemen from Edmonton who has been diagnosed with chordoma and is looking at going to SCCA, and a book I’m reading in which Seattle in the 40’s and 80’s figures prominently (Jamie Ford’s Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet), Seattle has been much on my mind.  I feel so strongly that the treatment I received there was restorative and healing.  I miss the people and the city.

Arriving at SCCA House in October - a winderful short-term home.

Arriving at SCCA House in October – a wonderful short-term home.

While I have fond memories of the Emerald City, I am in the RIGHT place for this part of my journey.  I am home and I am getting healthy.  Seattle was about ridding my body of cancer, now it is time to move on.  As Pete Carroll says, “One moment does not define you; the journey does.”

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9 thoughts on “It’s time to move on

  1. That was certainly a tough loss for you last week (sorry, but hooray Pats!!). Glad you’re home and focusing on recovery. Looking forward to seeing your smiling face at the symphony again soon 🙂

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  2. Aloha!
    This journey is certainly defining you Paul! Am so humbled to be walking alongside you all the way..Very proud of you Olicia and Stella! Just wished I lived closer. Lots of love prayers and positive thoughts from Waikiki!

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  3. Well, Paul, Seattle misses you! Or at least your drivers do. Now it’s just talk radio all the time – no more pointing out the sights or relaying the family dramas as we navigate traffic. Your successful efforts to remain positive are forever in our memories – what a fun and interesting guy you are – what are you like when you AREN’T being scorched and scuttled and stuck in weird machinery?? And your day-at-a-time recovery is in our prayers – prayers for a settled mind and strength for the journey. Love to Olivia and Stella. Come back soon!
    Jane

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  4. Okay Paul, the totalling the car comment was truly a laugh out loud for me. Nearly snorted my wine. Yup, I know the history and it is time for that to change.
    Viv

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  5. Paul you are amazing and you ARE a writer. Thanks for keeping us informed regarding your progress.
    Thinking of you and your family.
    Love Joan and Bob

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  6. Paul,
    I’m so glad to hear that you are getting past the Sea Hawks thing but I’m not sure that Seattle is … I just got back from the huge Northwest Garden Show in Seattle & it seemed to me there was grumbling even from the Canadians!

    Glad to hear that you are motoring along on your journey. I feel it’s pretty natural to think about what went on with the pbt as it was a big part of your life. We connect to others & its hard to let go. I know you will do what you need to do as our bodies have wisdom. We only need to listen, something that is tough to do.

    I’m looking forward to talk mindfulness. You can keep me on track!

    I hate to say this but I had no time to visit a Starbucks while I was in Seattle, Paul. I know you enjoyed your treks to that establishment. LOL!

    Sending you positive energy, as always!
    J

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